The 7 loves you need in your life (and 1 you don't) #30ColoursOfLove

Ask a dozen people to define love and you will probably get 24 different answers. That's just the way it is - love is a different emotion for everyone, based on how every experience and relationship has been in their lives. From that first momentous kiss to the sight of a crush to even the wag of a puppy dog's tail, the word love can conjure up a different image for even the same person at different points in their life. 

This need to place love in a definable box is not a millennial thing, though. No, we have been trying to label it for centuries and guess what, there's an ancient Greek system that does not just make sense but is also true love goals for all of us. 

Without further adieu, shall we take a look at how the land of Plato and Aristotle chose to classify love? 

Eros

Human element - Hormones. 

You guessed it - Passionate love. There is a deep physical element here, from sensual touches to kissing and beyond. 

Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie in Original Sin is a pretty easy example.  Their desire for each other was so intense from the time they first met that even constant emotional betrayals and lies could not undo their passion for one another. 

Philia

Human element - Mind. 

Born of Friendships, rooted in the goodness within a person. The love you have for a true friend, a sense of trust and companionship. 

Your 2 am friend.  

Turk and JD from Scrubs are a classic example of Philia, a friendship based on pure trust and admiration 

When you think of it, Philia leading to Eros which further strengthens Philia makes for a great combination. Think Monica & Chandler from Friends. 

Storge

Human element - Memories. 

The love of family. This tends to be less dependant on personal attributes of the individual. You love them in spite of flaws or mindsets that maybe incompatible because of the familial bond. The bond between a parent and a child comes to mind. 

For example - Rahul's (Shahrukh Khan) love for his parents in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham remains firm and undeterred even when he is thrown out of the house for no fault of his, due to his father's conservative beliefs. 

Agape 

Human element - Spirit. 

Considered to be the best of the lot, agape refers to unconditional love. While the default image that comes to mind when I think of unconditional love is that shown by pet dogs, I think it is worth exploring the concept more. Often, this can be confused with a parent's love for a child, the key factor being the existence of a familial link. Religious text would consider acts of charity as agape. They aren't wrong. 

It is about dedicating yourself to helping others including strangers because you care for all. 

Agape is a love the world could use more of nowadays. 

Ludus

Human element - Emotions. 

Fun, flirty love. The teasing. The conquest. The honeymoon phase. Casual. 

It does however require both parties to be on the same wavelength or else the chance of Ludus turning towards Eros (not necessarily a bad thing) or Mania (a really bad thing) always exists. 

One of the most iconic TV sitcom couples, Pam Beesely and Jim Halpert from The Office, sum up Ludus nicely. Two genuinely good people whose relationship grew together from flirtatious pranks, jokes and hidden gazes inside an office room into a love that endures

Pragma 

Human element - Subconscious.

Goal oriented love. The stereotypical Indian arranged marriage as described in literature and seen in real life comes to mind. When you get into the relationship based on a common ground agreed upon rather than a mutual attraction. 

But it is more than attraction or goals, really. It is a love that ages well, with both partners working to keep the relationship stable. 

Johnny and Moira Rose from Schitt's Creek are a beautiful pragma couple in my books. They have gone through so much in life, have evolved over decades and yet the affection and stability in their marriage is rock solid inspite of being two very different personalities 

Philautia

Human element - Soul. 

Self love. This can go two ways depending on where you are in life - a person filled with self doubt finding his or her confidence and believing in herself again is a healthy form of philautia. 

Conversely, there is a version where the self confidence goes to an extreme resulting in an inflated ego and an aura of narcissism. Gabbar Singh, Mogambo - think of most of your  Bollywood villains, I guess. 

Think of Geet (Kareena Kapoor) from Jab We Met. While the version of her we met in the first half bordered on narcissism, her heartbreak at the interval changed her and left her unsettled and unsure of herself. Then, conversely it was the turn of Aditya (Shahid Kapoor) to do for her what she had done for him in the first half - build the self esteem back up to a point where they loved themselves once more. 

In addition to the 7 yummy versions of love, there is a bitter candy too, one that you would do well to avoid. 

Mania

Human element - Survival instinct. 

An obsessive love to a person or character. Think of patterns of jealousy or overpossessiveness in your relationships - have you suffered from it (or worse, been accused of it?) 

Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction and Patrick Bergin from Sleeping with the Enemy come to mind. 

Did you like the ancient Greek classification of love? Which one of these resonated the most with you in your present phase of life? 

Most importantly, show me that you understood the 8 types of love by giving me at least one movie example of any one of these kinds of love (What can I say? I'm a film buff!) 

I'll add the accurate ones to the post as I get them. 

Author's note:

This blog post is a part of the Petals of Love Blog Hop hosted by Swarnali Nath.

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