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| PHOTO PROMPT - Kelvin M. Knight |
"I want it." the little boy said, licking his lips as he stared at the last slice of bread lying on the plate. His mother's eyes however rested on the hollowed out shape her son had playfully carved into the bread.
"I want it too." she replied wistfully, her eyes never leaving the heart within the bread as she stroked the empty spot on her left finger where, a lifetime ago, a wedding ring had rested, blissfully unaware.
Authors note:
Linking this post to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff – Fields. You can find other awesome entries to this week's Friday Fictioneers here.
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Awesome. Both Mom and Son vying for the share of the pie. The desire and not sacrifice made this story shine through, doc.
ReplyDeleteThanks Vishal :)
DeleteIt says a lot that the thing she wants is now what my art student daughter would call "negative space". Such a wistful story.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is indeed the negative space in the pic that I was looking to factor in, both literally and metaphorically here.
DeleteSo much said in so less words. Beautiful
ReplyDeleteThanks Anu
Deletethat ending is so emotional... Loved the way you weaved this story.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rajlakshmi :)
DeleteThat's lovely. Well written and I could sense the pain too.
ReplyDeleteGlad I could convey it in less than a 100 words :)
DeleteLovely. I wonder who'll get it in the end?
ReplyDeleteLovely. I wonder who'll get it in the end?
ReplyDeleteremains to be seen :)
DeleteBitter and sweet. Perspective makes all the difference.
ReplyDeleteit does, indeed
DeleteSad! :( But what a beautiful take on the prompt! Loved it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Shalini
DeleteDear Dr. Roshan,
ReplyDeleteSuch a touching story in so few words. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle :)
DeleteThis is simple and lovely. Really nice.
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
DeleteBittersweet ending. Loved it because I could feel the emotion of both the boy and his mother.
ReplyDeleteThanks Alana... guess the attempt at flash fiction was successful then :)
DeleteI hope she lost him in death, not life!
ReplyDeleteI had a different ending in my head but it is definitely open to interpretation
DeleteSo much emotion in such few words. Beautifully expressed doc!!
ReplyDeletePrasanna from Team Mocktailmommies
Thanks Prasanna :)
DeleteLovely little story that was, Roshan!I loved the ring part the most. Plus the fact that this is an open-ended story to which everyone can add a different story.
ReplyDeleteYes... I think the best place for the story to resonate in such cases is the reader's mind - each interprets the possibilities differently
DeleteWow! Less is truly more in this tale. So much conveyed in such few words. For me, it came across as single mother....probably divorced, hurt, and longing for a man´s or companion´s love in her life. This is indeed sad and moving. Loved it! Will be coming back for more such awesome posts. Keep writing! :)
ReplyDeleteThat is perhaps closest to what I had imagine myself while writing this down.
DeleteLoved it ! The sense of longing is beautifully depicted!
ReplyDeleteThanks Meha :)
DeleteWow, so well done! The pain, the longing - all comes out so well.
ReplyDeleteThanks Soumya :)
DeleteSuch varied emotions expressed in such a short piece, doc! Superbly crafted!
ReplyDeleteThanks Shilpa
DeleteBoth want the same piece but with a different perspective.. Probably thats the situation what we all humans are in at most times!
ReplyDeleteIn many ways, it is. This was a take on that.
DeleteLovely read :)
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
DeleteSometimes a few words make a beautiful story which stays with you for long. Lovely piece, sir. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Ashwini
Deletestory of love!
ReplyDeleteIt always is in some ways
DeleteHauntingly beautiful Doc. You have a thing for romance, don't you?
ReplyDeleteHaha... I try to cater to all genres, usually
DeleteIts first time I am reading fiction from yours. Lovely!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it :)
DeleteThat's beautiful - different people desire different things even when they look at the same.
ReplyDeleteExactly what I wanted to showcase
DeleteThis is brilliance. The way you have put out two different set of emotions in such less words is awesome.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rohan
DeleteHunger and love... So different, so equally important. I wish she had had a better life, and he, the bread, and for both, the heart that was missing.
ReplyDeleteI figure he will get his bread soon enough... She would have to wait longer for that heart
DeleteSaying much in few words is an art. New to your blog & completely mesmerised by your art of story telling. Subscribed and shall be back to read more!
ReplyDeleteThanks. Hopefully I will live up to expectations
DeleteWah doctor sahib :) ... you covered all in 4 line which people take entire novel to make people understand :)
ReplyDeleteThanks... thats high praise
DeleteBeautiful take with two different perspectives ..
ReplyDeleteWe all crave for love in one form or an another. Beautifully weaved story. :)
ReplyDelete