Life Lessons to Learn from Matthieu Ricard, the 'World's Happiest Man'

Remove the mask you wear around the public and answer me this - when you are alone with yourself and your thoughts, are you happy? Or do you allow the ghosts of past failures and the spectres of future outcomes to haunt you?

I know my ghosts and spectres constantly visit me. They would keep me up till 3 in the morning and have my heart beating wildly like Clapton on steroids with their 'What ifs'. The simple truth was that the constant worrying has probably already done its damage, shaving away a few years from my life. 

All that changed when I finally reached a breaking point and chose to actively stop caring about things that were just 'possible outcomes' instead of realities. I stopped fretting about the things I could not change and actively focused on surrounding myself with happy people or just those who were happy to be around me. Making them smile or helping them through their bad times was my high; the light that helped scare away my own ghosts.

It turns out that that was the right thing to do. Ask Matthieu Ricard. Who? 

Matthieu Ricard is the world's happiest man. 

No, seriously, that is his thing.

The 69-year-old Tibetan Buddhist monk was part of a 12 year study by neuroscientists on the role of meditation and compassion and his brainwaves were found to be way higher than the rest on the happiness charts. 

What did that mean?

• It meant that he had an enhanced ability to respond to others feelings. 
• More importantly, he could empathize without getting overwhelmed.
• He was also clinically proven to be far less stunned by sudden unexpected or aggravating stimuli than a regular human being.

I know it is not as cool as having Iron Man's suit or Spiderman's ability to climb walls but don't you think that it is a pretty awesome super power to have - the ability to be happy and react to stress better than anyone else? Given a choice, would you not consider getting that over being bitten by a radioactive spider or a radioactive iron box (That is how Iron Man became a superhero, right?).

There are times when stress is definitely warranted, Matthieu Ricard noted, like 'when a rhinoceros is running behind you' or when you feel you are being oppressed. But all other forms of stress - that don't directly affect you mentally or physically - should be removed from your mind.

The constant fear of things that may happen/ how people perceive you/ how your bad decisions affected your life- these are your rhinos running behind you, keeping you stressed and destroying your immune system from within even as you wear a mask and smile to maintain appearances on the outside.

The key, as Ricard stated, was to let go.

You cannot outrun a rhino over an entire jungle. The same applies to your inner demons and worries. You cannot outrun them. You can only defeat your perceived rhinos by acknowledging that they do not exist. 

Of course, there are problems that are real as well. Diseases - temporary or permanent, divorce, loss of loved ones, crimes, poverty - these are real and affect us directly at times. So how is it possible to still be happy?

1. Happiness  is a skill to be cultivated. 

You must make it a daily process rather than look for temporary highs. 
Remember my 100 Happy Days challenges and how they changed my life not once but twice? Everyone I know who took the challenge came out a different person, realizing how important it was to make happiness a part of their everyday routine.

2. Having a temper is not a crime. 

Choosing to let it be your defining quality is a different matter.

3. Choose to be benevolent and altruistic. - Matthieu Ricard

That means choosing to be kind and to care and help others. Yes, life has taught me that you may get used by some who choose to take advantage. But you cannot choose to give up on good people simply because bad ones exist. You do not give up on the rose buds just because weeds arise around it. 

4. Instead, actively aim to get rid of the stress factors in your life.

 Hatred, obsession, greed, pride et al. That involves introspection as well as true awareness of your own nature and those you surround yourselves with. If it means unfriending blood relatives and false friends, so be it. 

5. Share the happiness. 

Make people who matter in your life happy too. It is not a case of being selfless - their happiness makes you happy once more. It was my antidote and still works even today.

6. If you can't control it, don't keep worrying about it. 

Having a problem is different from worrying about it. Being a diabetic is different from worrying about all the possible end stage outcomes and complications of diabetes. 

7.  'One aspect of your life may not be there but many others are.' - Matthieu Ricard

Enjoy what exists instead of fretting over what is not.

The simple truth is that a lot of the burdens we carry on our shoulders do not actually exist in real time. And you need to realize that to get back on the happiness train.

Yes, this isn't the life you imagined for yourself. 
Yes, there are things that are beyond your control. 
But that doesn't mean this is the end of your journey... just the start of a new fork on the road of life; one with opportunities galore for you not just to laugh and be happy again but also to be the success your teenage self envisioned you becoming. To achieve new goals.

How about starting off by stealing Monk Matthieu Ricard's title and becoming the happiest person on Earth? Don't you think that would be a goal you would want in your life?


Author's note:

P.S. To the one guy in Africa who is reading this blogpost while being chased by a rhinoceros in the savannas, I am so sorry. This post does not apply to you. There is definitely a real rhino behind you. You are looking to Google "What to do when there is a rhinoceros running behind you." 

On February 20th 2015, 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion held its first link up. The intention for that day was to get a thousand bloggers from across the world together and spread compassion and love. That plan would carry forward from a single day into a monthly event where bloggers united to dispel the negativity with their words.

This month marks the 1 year anniversary of 1000Speak. And we mark the anniversary by talking about lessons we learned over the year and how it affected us. The lesson I learned and which I wanted to share with you:  Let go and realize there is no rhinoceros running behind you. Only then will you enjoy your stroll through the jungle.

In the past, I had written for #1000Speak on:

1. Compassion (my favourite)

2. Bullying

3. Nurturing (my dog Snoopy's favourite... hmmph.)

4. Acceptance
5. Love
6. Compassion once more
7. Listening