Author's note: This post was a runner-up in the HP Star Wars contest.
Your wait is over. It is finally here.
Generations have passed by as you yearned for the arrival of the true masterpiece. To make up for the days, you suffered the agony of mediocre fare in between. But a part of you still believed against all hope in the power of the Force. In the power of the one who did not just look promising but positively outshone the others. The one who stepped out of the darkness and into the light.
And the force has finally responded!
Yes, dear desi Knights of the Jedi, your dreams have indeed been answered. For lo! and Behold!
The Star Wars Special Edition Notebook is here. And while it is a magnificent beast, its evil illuminating red-backlit keyboard will do more than make you just stare at it with awe.
You see, the intricate Dark Side inspired graphic detailing done upon the body of this work of art, 8 GB RAM and the 1 TB hard drive are merely ruses by them to hide from you the actual secrets hidden within the notebook.
But fear not, for at great danger to my own life, I reveal to you today one of the darkest secrets of the Empire - the existence of the teaser of the trailer of the teaser-trailer of the trailer to the teaser (TeTrTe-TrTrTe, from here on in) of the ultimate union that even Mickey Mouse - who owns Disney (who owns Star Wars) - is unaware of.
Witness history unfold as we trace back the true Indian origins of the Jedi forces and the Evil Empire.
Throw away those headphones. Because with HP's Audio by B & O, you can relive those classic moments of camaraderie once more as the Storm Troopers finally find their calling and rhythm... as back-up Bollywood dancers.
The notebook comes pre-loaded with more than just this TeTrTe-TrTrTe . Preloaded with over 1100 exclusive Star Wars images, wallpapers and audio files, you will get to see rare concept art from over 4 decades of work. These will include upcoming shows based on the Star Wars world that you had no idea even existed until today.
Seriously, you will need High Definition to enjoy all the new stuff! Luckily for you, the Special Edition Notebook delivers with a FULL HD 15.6 inch anti-glare display. Wait, what new stuff, you ask???
Under new management, this YashRaj-Lucas production will give you everything your desi heart truly desired in a Star Wars movie.
It was a tie in the fancy dress competition round but Deepika Padukone ousted Natalie with her Spanish guitar version of 'Dum Maro Dum' which was deemed more alien than her competitor's entire outfit!
The DJ SaberBeats Star Wars Theme Song sung by Himesh Reshammiya is already uploaded for your convenience. For your further convenience, clicking on the file deletes it automatically.
Too much awesomeness to handle?
You should have got an Intel Core I5 processor in you like the Star Wars Notebook.
So what are you really waiting for?? More spoilers!
Go on, my fellow Siths and Knights. You have seen the TeTrTe-TrTrTe. You know the lore. You can feel the force of the 'Illuminated Red backlit' side awakening inside you.
#AwakenYourForce and Succumb to greatness.
Authors note:
No animals were hurt during the making of the the TeTrTe-TrTrTe for the Indiblogger HP contest. Now, during the making of the movie... that's a different matter altogether!
Your wait is over. It is finally here.
Generations have passed by as you yearned for the arrival of the true masterpiece. To make up for the days, you suffered the agony of mediocre fare in between. But a part of you still believed against all hope in the power of the Force. In the power of the one who did not just look promising but positively outshone the others. The one who stepped out of the darkness and into the light.
And the force has finally responded!
Yes, dear desi Knights of the Jedi, your dreams have indeed been answered. For lo! and Behold!
The Star Wars Special Edition Notebook is here. And while it is a magnificent beast, its evil illuminating red-backlit keyboard will do more than make you just stare at it with awe.
You see, the intricate Dark Side inspired graphic detailing done upon the body of this work of art, 8 GB RAM and the 1 TB hard drive are merely ruses by them to hide from you the actual secrets hidden within the notebook.
But fear not, for at great danger to my own life, I reveal to you today one of the darkest secrets of the Empire - the existence of the teaser of the trailer of the teaser-trailer of the trailer to the teaser (TeTrTe-TrTrTe, from here on in) of the ultimate union that even Mickey Mouse - who owns Disney (who owns Star Wars) - is unaware of.
Ladies, gentlemen & Jar Jar Binks haters, I present to you -
Star Wars 2.5: Dhai Another Day.
Witness history unfold as we trace back the true Indian origins of the Jedi forces and the Evil Empire.
Throw away those headphones. Because with HP's Audio by B & O, you can relive those classic moments of camaraderie once more as the Storm Troopers finally find their calling and rhythm... as back-up Bollywood dancers.
The notebook comes pre-loaded with more than just this TeTrTe-TrTrTe . Preloaded with over 1100 exclusive Star Wars images, wallpapers and audio files, you will get to see rare concept art from over 4 decades of work. These will include upcoming shows based on the Star Wars world that you had no idea even existed until today.
Star Wars: The College Years
deals with all the angst and drama
that every young boy, girl & evil villain goes through in
their teenage years... or Salman Khan in his 40's. Crushes,
college festivals, giving proxy during attendance... it's all here.
Legends of Bollywood & Hollywood working together.
Actors Anil Kapoor & Harrison Ford share a light moment
during the making of Star Wars 2.5
The 'real' heartbreaking reason that made Dartholomew Vader turn to the dark side.
If only he had stocked up on fairness creams (like his Bollywood buddies)
before flying his space ship.
Shocking on-screen moments you never imagined (Kahani mein twists... & twerks)
New CGI creatures (Rangeela Billi)
(Jar Jar Binks is out, replaced by Politically Correct,
LGBT friendly butterfly UnicorniKitten, to be
voiced by Aamir Khan)
New villains
(Crime Master Gogo's nephew Crime Master General Phasma)
And yes, *spoiler alert* the UnicorniKitten hates Phasma.
New ambiguous anti-heroes...
The son of R2D2 turns his lightsaber off when not in use
to conserve energy... and prevent accidental stabbing.
New heroines will arise
It was a tie in the fancy dress competition round but Deepika Padukone ousted Natalie with her Spanish guitar version of 'Dum Maro Dum' which was deemed more alien than her competitor's entire outfit!
And the only true action hero whom Expendables could not buy...
Foot tapping Soul crushing Music
The DJ SaberBeats Star Wars Theme Song sung by Himesh Reshammiya is already uploaded for your convenience. For your further convenience, clicking on the file deletes it automatically.
Lightsaber tapping dance moves:
I Yoda, DandiYa I Do,Ya!
Too much awesomeness to handle?
You should have got an Intel Core I5 processor in you like the Star Wars Notebook.
So what are you really waiting for?? More spoilers!
SPOILER ALERT!!!
Go on, my fellow Siths and Knights. You have seen the TeTrTe-TrTrTe. You know the lore. You can feel the force of the 'Illuminated Red backlit' side awakening inside you.
#AwakenYourForce and Succumb to greatness.
The Star Wars Special Edition NoteBook awaits you.
Authors note:
No animals were hurt during the making of the the TeTrTe-TrTrTe for the Indiblogger HP contest. Now, during the making of the movie... that's a different matter altogether!
What do I think? This is ROFL stuff!This is hilariously crazy! Loved so many moments....Harrison Ford-Anil Kapoor moment! Gore gore mukhde pe....! Deepika's costume, Himesh bhai singing the theme song! Aamir voice over! Darth Vader and fairness creams! Aur dhai kilo ka haath aur hand pump! Hahaha....too much fun! Kids are enjoying this too! Yeh HP notebook bohot bhari he doc!
ReplyDeletehehe... I actually made many more images too. A lot of it got cut from the final article as it was getting toooo lengthy :D
DeletePerhaps I will release a director's cut of the blogpost someday :D
*lambi saans* Doc saab. This is... I'm dying!
ReplyDeleteI think Anil Kapoor as Chewbacca was the best!
Ya, I was actually giggling for that one too. Ironically, that was one which was really easy - no editing required!
DeleteSuch Blasphemy!!! *shudder*
ReplyDeleteI think I am scarred for life! :P : P
LOL!
Hehe... I really wanna see more reactions from true STar Wars fans :) They would get the full level of blasphemy of these scenes and sequences :D
DeleteROFL, hahaha... Soul touching music 'ghoonghat ki...'
ReplyDeleteWe can't have Star Wars: Dhai Another Day without a full 12 song Bollywood album including the remix versions!
DeleteAnil Kapoor?? Hahahahaha :D
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen even a single movie of Star Wars yet. Yeah yeah, guilty as charged. But the hype around it is quite something. Now that I have seen this wonderful trailer, I shall definitely be catching up on all the movies.
Now let's just hope that Ekta Kapoor doesn't read this and make a kool version of it for bollywood.
Ooh... you definitely must watch the first 3 parts... they work well together as a trilogy. The next 3(prequels).. well, not so much. But the new movie has got insanely positive reviews so I would suggest you catch up before u go to enjoy it with the others in the theatre...
DeleteAnd yes, I am waiting for Ekta Kapoor's call... though I will settle for a basic Bhansali or Rohit SHetty also.
Did JJ Abrams call you yet ?
ReplyDeleteBecuase this is going to break the Dilwale or any super-mega star of Bollywood Box Office collections.
Awesome Post. :)
Sigh... I really should send him a "Hey, this is crazy! Here's my blogpost. Call me maybe" meme for this!
DeleteDoc... You are unparalleled..
ReplyDeleteHahaha... thanks man :)
DeleteHa ha! This is stuff that gets shared on facebook. Hilarious! That Anil Kapoor and ghoonghat ki aad mein was awesome :D What a fab job Doc!
ReplyDeleteShare share away! Atleast until I get a call from Anil Kapoor asking me to take down the picture!!
DeleteSeriously dude! Missed you posting stuff like this took me straight back to 8th grade!
ReplyDeleteCoincidentally, I was just talking about that fact yesterday - that I used to write a lot more of this kind of posts and stories back in the day! Guess life's taken its toll on the comic timing and its frequency!
DeleteAs you said, it goes all the way back to Star Trek (irony, much!) in 8th standard... man, we are geeks :D
I have never seen star wars but obviously heard of the legendary characters and other main significant stuff from the series so I can relate and this is SO HILARIOUS! What observations and trolls! hahahaha.... Super duper great post! :D
ReplyDeleteHehee... thanks Zainab. The new one coming out has got some huge positive reviews worldwide so it would be worth ur while to just check out the original trilogy to get an idea before going for the new one... of course, all box office collections will pale in comparison to SW 2.5: Dhai Another Day!!
Deleterofl! U r in a wrong profession doc :)
ReplyDeleteSigh... if I had a penny for everytime I heard that!
Delete(And why is it that directors like Shirish Kundar and Sajid Khan never get told that! ) :D
Just slightly embarrassed to admit this, but I haven't seen Star Wars, but the hype around it intrigues me.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, this post was hilarious, especially the images.
"Deepika Padukone ousted Natalie with her Spanish guitar version of 'Dum Maro Dum' which was deemed more alien than her competitor's entire outfit!" - ROFL =))
As I told Zainab, now would be a good time to invest in the original trilogy... cause the new movie seems to appeal to fans, new and old.
DeleteI am coming at you with my Light saber for bringing Bollywood into Star Wars. *shudders* at the memory of those images. Hilarious, doc. :)
ReplyDeleteDammit!! Intolerance! Intolerance! I'm being 'intolerated'!
DeleteThanks Laurel :)
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious..I loove ur take on what could have been the Desi version. Superb:)
ReplyDeleteSigh... instead of all these silly rom-action movies that Bollywood churns out, don't you think this would make a much more watchable movie??? :D
DeleteHilarious post Roshan! Loved every bit of it!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Shivani :D
DeleteOk was this an honest attempt at ruining Star wars saga for people like me? :P Hope this movie just stays in the trailer version else people are going to die of laughter and you dont want to get exiled to tatooine :P
ReplyDeleteAll that is required is for Sajid Khan to direct and this movie will be the biggest blockbuster of the century...
DeleteDamn...Before the movie comes out and before your celebrity status grows anymore give me an autograph!
Delete