Doc Terror

In every college, there is that one professor. I believe the official adjective used to describe them is ‘stern’. Of course, you and I both know the relatively polite term we use in college: ‘Terror’.

In our college too, there was this particular senior staff.  The head of a surgical unit, he used to frighten not only students like us but also junior staff within his own department. The thing was that he could be really demeaning in his insults and unlike a classroom where you are surrounded by friends who can empathize with you, here you would be ripped apart in front of your own patients. Any respect you may have garnered over the past few days while tending to the patient’s ailment would be wiped away in twenty minutes of belligerent questioning, mocking and gesturing right in front of the patient. 

This was first published in Tamarind Rice's
July 2014 issue in my column "An Appletini
A Day..." Click the picture to read the entire
 magazine online for free.

Other consultants attending the rounds often prayed that the insults would stop with the post graduate residents but occasionally when he grew weary of preying on the latter, he would train his guns and questions upon his fellow junior consultants, quoting journals and advanced texts ad verbatim. He never took part in celebrations within the department and many claimed they had never seen him smile in their presence. 
Until one fateful day.

If you would allow me to rewind to a short 24 hours earlier, you would find yourself in a scene all too familiar once more. A young male patient lying on the bed in his room, staring as half a dozen students stood squirming under the professor’s verbal bombardment. Unfortunately, one of the students who had just finished a surgery happened to enter the room at that moment. Spotting him running in disheveled, the professor turned his attention upon him. A ten minute lecture ensued on what being a doctor in a hospital meant – to always be clean shaven, have a pristine white apron etc etc. The fact that he had left his tie in his pocket was a major issue for the professor and he kept coming back to it. His final warning to the students before he stormed out of the room hinged upon that – “Tomorrow when I come for rounds, everyone in this room must be clean shaven and wearing a tie. Otherwise I will throw you out of the hospital for a week.”



The next morning, as expected, everyone had shiny white aprons that would be the envy of detergent powder ads. Formal ties were in place and even those who had procedures made sure that they wore their ties and looked immaculate before joining for rounds. As always, the professor walked in front as he entered the patient’s room. The patient was still asleep and so the professor turned to his residents and began his interrogation of their knowledge. As his voice began to rise, the patient awoke and looked around him. It took him a moment to understand what was going on and then he started fidgeting under his pillow.

A few moments later, when the professor realized that his students eyes were not fixed upon him anymore, he followed their gaze to see what was so special behind him. There sitting on the bed was the same patient wearing a traditional white shirt and lungi as he had the previous day. Oh yes, he was also wearing a tie now, of course.

When the professor asked him what he was doing, the young man replied in a meek voice that the professor had warned that everyone in the room should wear a tie the next day or risk expulsion from the hospital. Rather than confirm the doubt in his mind with a student or a nurse, he had chosen to play it safe and gotten a tie from home sent to him the previous evening, he informed the doctor as he straightened the creases in his tie.

I hear he really tried to restrain himself for a few seconds but in the end, the professor could not control himself. The smile broke out into a grin and then into an actual chuckle, which to the residents was akin to seeing a UFO or the Loch Ness Monster, you must understand!

Even as he smiled, he explained to the perplexed patient that he had meant it only for the staff of his department and not the patients themselves.  He was still grinning as he left the room. If rumours are to be believed, that day rounds went off without any further scolding.

We all have seen such staff whom we describe as ‘terrors’ but sometimes I wonder if it is truly because of their personal nature or is it just a facade that they put up to keep a boundary between themselves and their students. 

Do you have an experience with a ‘terror staff’ during your college days that you still remember? Please do share it. I would love to hear it.