She stared at the young man, moving rhythmically on top of the girl and her frown deepened. She couldn’t allow herself to be distracted by the family members waiting outside, angry at not being let in. She needed to focus. She watched as he continued pressing down upon her tiny frame and in her gut, she felt the girl’s heart begin to heal.
“Stop.” She said. He did as he was told and she turned to the defibrillator, watching the squiggles start to form rhythmic waves.
Dr Afreen suppressed a smile and nodded at the paramedic. The child would live.
Oh that was outstanding! You had me raising my eyebrows at the first few lines and I was so tempted to read further ;) And yay! You configured the \twitter handle!!
ReplyDeleteThanks. That was the plan. To confuse the readers and see if I could bring a twist within 100 words.. And yes, finally! Twitter configured.
DeleteAha! That was a brilliant one!! Didn't see it coming at all, in fact, I was wondering where was this leading!! :D
ReplyDeleteHaha.. Good to see I can still lead the reader along.. :)
DeleteThis is fabulous! Very creatively told story.
ReplyDeleteThanks Beloo.
DeleteIt took ma breath away, Doc. Stunning:)
ReplyDeleteHe understood that some people can be a part of your history but never your destiny!
Umm.. Are you sure this comment was meant for this story??
DeleteOh Sid, this was an anti climax. People's imagination was running riot.!
ReplyDeleteThanks :) and it's Roshan!
DeleteOhh you tricked me into thinking this was going somewhere else! Very nice :)
ReplyDeleteThat was the plan.. To see what to do with 100 words!
DeleteThe beginning tricked me into thinking something else :D Good one :)
ReplyDeleteThat was very much the intention :D
DeleteAs I keep telling you, you should write more fiction! It's really good and the first few lines give a totally different idea. . ;-)
ReplyDeleteAnd I know this intern who will be very happy reading this. .
so long pal.. remember the old Amberville days. Seems like ages ago. And yes, I can imagine she will now be acting like a prima donna during her internship, wearing shades and doing her fingernails all the time :D
DeleteHigh time you revisit Amberville. . ;-)
Deletebelieve me... a part off me really does want to. just don't have any ideas in the old cranium :)
DeleteBRILLIANT! What a story and what a storytelling! Really a great take on the prompt!
ReplyDeleteThank you.. glad you enjoyed it
DeleteOh ..wow ! Awesome ...reading the first few lines I never imagined the ending to be like this :)
ReplyDeleteWanted to see what I could do with 100 words... my first time at it here on WT
DeleteOoh, nice twist :). Well written, doc!
ReplyDeleteThanks Fab :)
DeleteTake a Bow, Doc ! (Namichu....thozhuthu :D )
ReplyDeleteSo many words playing around, and trying to fool us into thinking what is not :D
Superbly told, and medically infotaining.
I'm off to learn more medical terms now ( defribillator and all :D )
haha... glad to see i could fool so many people.. what better joy for the writer :D
DeleteWow..... your plan is completely successful... What a turn!
ReplyDeleteThanks Karanth :) Yes. I can see it worked on a few here
DeleteBrilliant! Such a hopeful story :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Myriad :) Yes... its actually something I used to see regularly...
DeleteGreat story. Well written
ReplyDeleteThanks man :)
Deletebrilliant!
ReplyDeleteThe play with words really lent this post shock value. What a twist, and one that ends on a happy note :)
ReplyDeleteBrilliant.
Thanks to you and good old google, I got to know what a defibrillator is :p
Cheers
CRD
Do drop by mine. Updated only last night :)
Good to see u again here.. and yes, will drop by now.
DeleteThank heavens! It ended the way it did. A nifty little tale.
ReplyDeleteHaha.. I think I shocked a few ppl with the beginning there :) sadly the truth is doctors do get beaten up when relatives mistake cpr for molesting the patient.. How they could imagine that is beyond me
DeleteAnd you just twisted my thoughts into something totally opposite with that climax. Hhahah what brilliance!
ReplyDeleteThanks Red.. Have seen the negative side of it.. Ppl mistaking a doc's efforts for molesting.. That's why the play on words works I guess
DeleteA brilliant twist! brilliant!
ReplyDeleteThanks... Glad you liked it
DeleteHaha.. you had us hooked with the initial lines ;) Brilliant
ReplyDeleteThanks Jyotsna :) that was the idea
DeleteThumbs up as usual, Doc!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Renuka.. Glad u enjoyed it
DeleteBoy was that a good read or what! Amazing. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Abhishek.. Glad u liked it
DeleteThanks Blogadda.. That makes it all the more special
ReplyDeleteHaha..good one..juicy start :)
ReplyDeleteThanks... and yes, I guess it was :D
DeleteThank God! You had me worried at the start, Roshan. Very well written!
ReplyDeleteHaha... I've written some dark stories in the past. So don't rule it out in the future :) But for now , just happy to play with words...
DeleteCheeky one aren't you. Just like the way you think.
ReplyDeleteGreat post.....for want of better words.
Health and Happiness always.
http://inderpreetkaur.blogspot.in/2014/04/color-not-kind-i-like.html
Thank you Inderpreet :)
DeleteVery creative. Loved the twist in so little words.
ReplyDeleteThanks. That was the aim...
DeleteOhhh.. the start lead me on a different path and the end was way more "family-oriented." Something that we always expect from you! Great post.. 100 words and Blogadda recognition too. Awesome..
ReplyDeletehaha.. the start was meant to do that... lead you astray :D
DeleteSuperb sir! best way to compel readers to read till the end ;) (pun intended)
ReplyDeleteHahaha... thanks Meghana. Glad it kept you intrigued.
DeleteThe frailty of life :)
ReplyDeleteA nice take!