Her happiness matters to me

She is just another woman for the rest of the world but to me, she is special. 

Our tale begins many a year ago when we both started off as bloggers. Her thoughts and poetry flowed effortlessly  from her heart while my own hackneyed posts were far less noteworthy. There was the odd comment on each other's blog and then we went our own ways, never really connecting; random strangers whose paths had crossed each other online fleetingly.

I don't remember the circumstances under which we reconnected. I just know that we were on different parts of the globe, going through different emotional trials in our lives and struggling to trust people with our feelings. She was finding out that love was not a bed of roses. I was a veteran of those harsh waters. I don't know why but I needed to protect her back then. I needed to make her realize that her world had not ended. I needed her to understand that the ones like us - who think with our hearts instead of our heads - were not a species doomed to be cheated forever. I needed her to know that she would get through this. 

Tank yu!

I can't explain it to myself, much less to you. All I know is that I want her to succeed in life. I want her to see herself through the eyes of those who care for her, not those who used her and treated her like dirt. I want to break through that wall her low self-esteem hides behind and have the invigorating rays of happiness shine down on her once more. It is no easy process - we both know this - as she takes two steps forward and one step back, scared of an uncertain future.     

Today, she is my 1 AM buddy. When I worry or have a bad day, I know I can talk to her long after the sun has set. We share a funny, unseen bond - we trust each other with our deepest fears and most naked feelings. We aren't afraid to show either our vulnerable or vicious faces to each other simply because we aren't there to judge each other... just help the other rise once more. 

She is witty and naughty, keeping up with my banter, often racing me to my own punchline and turning the tables on me. And yet, she is soft. She cares for people and animals and makes an effort for those who matter to her. And yes, like all fairytale princesses seeking their 'happily ever after', she is beautiful. Oh, it takes a lot of effort not to have a crush on her. Surrounded by her peers, she constantly admonishes herself for her looks  which I find ironical, considering I stare at the mirror watching my belly jiggle when I just burp and still say "Man! I'm a hunk."     

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I worry for her because she has seen so much pain and injustice in a life so young. I want to protect her and tell her the worst has passed but I know that life has a funny way of sneaking up on you so I do the one thing I can...  I give her hope and selfishly take the same from her when I am down. We are each other's safe haven - a person we can turn to for help when we are hurting, for sharing our joys when we are happy and sharing our inner most feelings when we just want to talk. 

Today, watching her rise again slowly, I am proud of her. Her young heart has been hurt, her faith shaken... but she is standing and she is smiling once more, ready to take on the world. Her insecurity persists but it no longer defines her. 

And no matter what, she knows that she will always have a 1 AM buddy who will stand by her side - admonishing her, giggling and smiley-facing with her, chalking out schemes to succeed so that we both end up as successful billionaires a decade from now with sea-side villas in Hawaii beside each other.

When this month began, we had yet to ever meet each other

and I don't know if in the years to come we ever will... 

but it doesn't change the fact that I so badly want to 

see her happy. Her happiness matters to me. 

Author's note: Obviously, this is a personal post. I had written about how people's lives get interconnected in many unseen ways. Looking inwardly at my own life, I realize that it applies to me as well. There are so many online friends I confide in whom I have never met, yet know them better than people I walk beside everyday of my life. 

The gorgeous woman in this post is a true gem who is slowly realizing it herself now. I derive strength from her just as she does from me. And from a blogger's point of view, what better way to let her know she is appreciated than a blogpost exclusively dedicated to her. 

This is my post for the prompt 'People' in WriteTribe's Word of Festivals.