Chinese starters...

The one thing I find amusing is that there's always someone ready to sit for arguing with you based on silly assumptions.

This was an incident that occurred when I was in medical school. Our hostel mess had a fixed menu for every meal of the week. For example, Sunday mornings were dosa day, Friday afternoons were fried-chicken-and-ghee-rice day and so forth. Tuesday morning was bun-and-jam day.

We were sitting down for breakfast one Tuesday at the mess and were served our regular plates of bun and jam by the cook. While all of us tucked into it, a friend of mine came over to us and dropped the plate with a loud clatter on the table as he sat down.

Me : Something the matter ?
Him : I hate bun and jam.
Me : ( sensing a rant coming and trying to undo my previous question and act oblivious ) Okaaay.
Him : What "okay" ? How can you all eat this ?
Me ( resigned to my fate ) : Well, it's pretty good, you know. I don't really see the problem.

Him : You NRIs are all like this only. You'll eat bread toast with butter and sausages and cornflakes for breakfast. You should be brought up entirely in India. Then only you can understand what it's like for us.
Me : Really ? What's that like ?
Him : We need our dosas and idlis man. Their taste is different, man, from all these foreign foods. That taste of appam with stew...
Friend  #2 : .. puttu and kadala curry...
Him : Exactly. That's it. That's a good breakfast. Not this bun and jam.
Me : Look. I ain't arguing with you on Indian food. I just don't see what's wrong with normal things like bread and jam or a bulls-eye egg.

He looked at me with contempt. "You guys won't understand. For you, all this British and American stuff is normal."

I'd had enough by now. "Look. It isn't about US or UK or anything. I'm just saying you should be open to enjoying others food too. Infact, this is pretty normal stuff. I know a place where people actually eat Chinese food for breakfast.


He : No way. That's rubbish. I've never heard of any such place.
Me: Seriously.
He : What ? Chicken Manchurian, fried rice and all ?
Me : Manchurian, Schezwan.. you know, Chinese stuff.
He : I don't believe you.
Me : Bet ?
He : Bet.
Me : What do I get if I win ?
He : I'll draw the diagrams for your anatomy record books for a week. Otherwise, you should draw mine.
Me : Done.
He : Done.
Me : Neatly ?
He : Neatly.
Me : Okay.
He : Okay.

I continued munching on my bun. I looked up. He and the others at the table were watching me expectantly.
Me : What ?
Him : Hah ! I knew it. Simply you were bluffing. Haha. These 5 guys are witnesses. You can't back out now. You have to draw my record book.
Me : Wait.. what was the question again ?
Him : Haha. You can't escape.
Me : I just wanted to know what the question was.
He stressed out each word slowly as he spoke, obviously enjoying the sweet taste of success. "Where do people eat Chinese food for breakfast ?"
I smiled back at him. "Well... China, I'm guessing."
Him : ...

I didn't have to draw any diagrams that week. He tried to back out, of course, but ..well, I had 5 witnesses too, you see.



This is my entry for the KFC "Sets you on Fire" contest. Hope you liked it.