The billionth voter

Disclaimer : I’m probably gonna be unpopular after this post but... well, aren’t blogs a forum for discussion too ?

Just a question before we start – how’d you feel if you saw Laloo Prasad Yadav’s kid using his political influence to get into the national cricket team even though he’s a crappy cricketer and come out to represent the country in international matches with no one having the guts to kick him out even though he proves to be an embarrassment to the team ? Think of it.

Being bedridden provided me with a lot of spare time to follow the news channels and media as they ran around covering the ongoing build-up to the elections. Part of the media was trying to woo the viewers to vote, aiming for a billion votes this election. I like the concept and what they seek to achieve, because after all, we have a huge untapped base of sensible people who just don’t vote. I’ll come back to that issue in awhile.

Watching the media run from pillar to post though was a thoroughly disheartening experience for me. Because what I saw was simply appalling, to be frank.

Political parties weren’t talking of their grand schemes to make the nation a better place. They were just gossiping and bitching out loud in front of an audience. You had one of the major parties going back to literally dangerous ground, giving up topics like employment, rural education and facilities for something called a Ram temple in Ram’s birthplace. I’m sorry, but in a nation with such a huge population below the poverty line, how is a temple of any significance ? To pray while they die of starvation ? Shouldn’t we have temples for Ram’s earlier world saving avatars as well then at their respective birthplaces – let’s see, that would include a temple for a huge fish, a tortoise and a boar , right ?

Instead of discussing solid plans of development and schemes, the parties have focussed this entire election worth billions of rupees on a novice brat’s remarks that he’d cut off minority people’s hands. One major party probably overdid the punishment while the other shockingly backed the remarks. His mommy went to town getting mileage on it, insulting the presiding minister’s lack of having kids which really is an attack more worthy of fisherwomen ( I apologise to fisherwomen reading  this who may feel insulted. )

We have political parties with no common ideologies getting together to form the Third front, knowing fully well that if no one gets the majority, they’ll be needed to form a government as a coalition. It doesn’t matter that they disagree on every major issue of the election... just as long as they get their seat.

‘Tickets’ to contest aren’t given to hard workers or people with strong convictions. They’re given to actors and actresses instead, whose charms are more likely to woo the starstruck population. Where certain politicians have been barred from contesting owing to pending court cases, they’ve handed over the seat to their wife so that they can rule via her – is that how governments are supposed to be run ? I even found out that the guy who savagely burnt the priest, Staines, all those years ago was thinking of contesting but didn’t get the ticket in the end. Is that the kind of people who you want running your nation ? Proven murderers ?

Both parties make fun of the other’s policies on terrorism and how they can do better if they’re elected. Yet, no one has laid forth a rock solid plan on exactly what is their major plan to ensure our safety. Noone seems to be bothered about silly things like rural upliftment, empowerment of women, education and food or how we’ll be able to cope with the worldwide economic crisis – focussing instead on running their enemies with a roller, promising free Tvs to everyone and carrying swords to every election stage. One party is taking credit for our success in the Olympics and Oscars ( ?? ) while the other resorts to singing parodies on stage making fun of the former.

In short, no one is talking with a fixed plan on how they’re going to take India forward. The issues being discussed are all idiotic and irrelevant to the growth of the nation. It isn’t adult political issues, it’s idiotic schoolyard fights going on, calling each other names, talking about their bad bits and insulting their mommies.

The Election Commission too has been shown to be a toothless watchdog. Sadly, I see them pointing out various faults which are sensible, but it’s with the knowledge that they can’t do a thing – they haven’t been given any power, as was shown in the humiliating Varun Gandhi incident where they were told to buzz off, in no uncertain terms. It was a case of a classroom bully slapping the teacher after molesting a child, knowing fully well the teacher can’t do a thing back. Is that the kind of classroom you’d want your kids to be in ?

Which brings me back to the crux of this article. As I said at the beginning, the media was trying to woo the viewers to vote, aiming for a billion votes this election. I like the concept and fully understand what they are aiming for.

But I will not be exercising my right to vote this year.

Why ?

Are you willing to let a newspaper boy do open heart surgery on your mother ?

Are you willing to let a butcher run a space centre ?

Would you let a parrot handle your finances ?

Forget surgery and space centres, would you guys have been ok with my first question of this post – a rich kid with no talent buying his way into our successful Dhoni-led dream team? No ? And that’s just a game, right ?

And yet, you want me to vote on who will run a country and you give me a choice between criminals of all varieties including thieves, rapists, murderers, religious fanatics,inexperienced  actors and actresses, uneducated trouble makers and proven political failures ? The handful of honest goal driven individuals are so few and far apart I can count them, using one hand and I know they cannot significantly contribute to the nation, their virtues making them a pariah in this field.

No. I won’t vote. Because this is not a case of choosing a lesser evil. I must not have to choose between a corrupt toothless party,a religiously intolerant party or a dozen smaller parties with no fixed plans to run the biggest democracy. This is a huge responsibility and people who are capable of running the nation with fixed plans and goals should be in charge, not just every criminal of the street who’s decided that rather than working or studying, he’ll just join politics and become a millionaire.

If the educated working class like us doctors, bankers and engineers can be held accountable for us mistakes, then I want to know why politicians are not held accountable. If I promise you a safe operation and I don’t deliver, I am liable for legal action and losing my hard earned degree. So why are these clowns any different ? They never fulfil their promises, they take bribes and steal, they twist the law, change their political stand ( which was the basis on which people voted for them ) based on personal vendettas, cause riots to show displeasure, never attend the assemblies for which they were elected in the first place and once there, only cause chaos rather than engage in meaningful discussion. And since they have to save their ass, it’s a given that they will never allow for any law to be passed which would bar ‘their kind’ from taking part in elections.

So you know what ? I really hope you get your billion votes in this coming elections. I hope that there are a billion Indians who’ve seen the choices before them and felt that there is someone who can take India forward rather than drag us down. But I’m afraid I’m not one of them.  I’m one of ‘those weirdoes’ who won’t let a monkey do surgery on my family in an operation theatre. And I won’t be forced into letting the monkey do it just because the other option is a hyena who doesn’t even have an opposable thumb. That’s not how it works.

I am not convinced by the lot I see campaigning before my eyes this year. They are not capable of helping my nation move forward.

I will not be that billionth voter.