This is my parole... and I'm loving it.

The sweet noise of a lady bitching while haggling about the price of fish, which at 250 bucks a scrawny piece, ought to be tied on a gold chain and worn around the neck for weddings.

The smell of a good roasting shawarma at every corner, with the mandatory board informing you that the 'Sharjah sheikh' costs only 15 rupees. Used to be one of my favourites in high school days... anything but that damn 'butterfruit sheikh' which tastes like leaves. And I don't mean curry leaves or marijuana. I mean icky pukey leaves.

The knowledgable astrologer informing me that my 'good time' goes on till my 38th year, 8th month and 25th day. So guys, around mid-October 2019, make sure you guys drive carefully, take care of your health and gals, use protection around January 2019. You really don't wanna end up in an operation theatre when my bad time begins. I'm a regular Laurel and Hardy even on my good days. On bad days, I could scare the pants off Mr Bean.

This is the only place where I try to describe with equal parts tension, melodrama and an  overdose of action how good I am as a doc in trying circumstances with blood flowing and guts bobbling around and my mom interrupts to go get the nail cutter and try to cut my toenails. I try to convince her that I bite my toenails regularly ( like any decent homo apean does ), but she isn't convinced with my 'toenails grow faster than fungus on a wet bread' theory. Moms. No matter how old you grow, you're still 'that kid' for them.

Oh, I almost forgot. Astroman also predicted that during my good phase from now till October 2019, there'll be 3 bad phases lasting 2.5 years each. Hmmm. That's 7 years out of the remaining 10. Gee. Can't wait for the bad times to start. Same dude who could predict my bad times down to the date though couldn't guess my marital status or any vague details on my babe-to-be..stuff like hair colour, profession, martial arts expert or not ( I hear they're very flexible... what ??? It's useful to ummm.. uh... get stuff from the kitchen cabinet ). Sigh. Where are you, you crazy lady ?

Another suicide in the hotel opposite Kannur railway station. Man, that's like the 7th suicide in the last 4 years. When they call room service and say they're checking out... trust me, they're checking out alright !! Reminds me of the Stephen King based short story / movie '1408'. Creepy. As usual, my folk say black magic and ghosts are behind it. Personally, I just think that shady room service boy with the rusted hook for an arm needs to be looked at more closely.

Travelled to Trissur to attend a good friend's sister's wedding. Along the way, I had for company, ol' pal Doc S from Mangalore. And seeing things from his eyes gave me a new perspective. Really, what advantage have we derived from regionalising our city names ? It took me a good 10 minutes to get him to change from 'Troom Troom Puram' to 'Thiruvanantapuram'. And you know what ? Troom Troom Puram sounded cooler too. What's the capital of your state ? Oh, Mine's Troom Troom Puram, what's your crappy capital name, TamBram ? 

Kozhikhode is just another example, the eariler name being Calicut. I tried teaching him that too, but had to stopped when he almost swallowed his tongue turning it inside out for the 'Kozhi' part. Sheesh. Me teaching him Malayalam... that's like going bungee jumping with the rope tied firmly around your nutsack.. it really shouldn't be attempted.

I'm addicted to the iTouch 32 Gb that's sleeping beside me as I write this. I've already filled in 2000 songs and 93 videos. While the music ranges from Metallica to Pink Floyd and the best of Himesh, the videos so far are mostly Russell Peter clips, music videos from the past ( Michael Jackson, PussyCat Dolls... man, I'm a fuddy duddy, huh ) and a couple of movies ( Transformers, Get Smart which are a real joy to watch on the Itouch. Highly recommended, guys. 

Ruby's glad to see me. She gets to have the sugar free Rasagullas and Gulab Jamun I bought from Pune. They were for my dad, but then what's in my dad's plate has always ended up in Ruby's stomach. Wanna talk picky ? She says no to the dark chocolates of Lindt bought by my brother. A dog with a taste for white and normal over dark chocolates... it's a good thing I didn't introduce her to French wine in her youth, me thinks. I'll have a Chardonney '67 with my mashed rice and fish, Mr Waiter boy from Pune. 

Bhajans rock this house from 5am to 8am. They rock this house between 5.30 pm to 7 pm. There are bhajans for Lord Krishna, bhajans for Lord Ganesha.. you know the rest of the list. Basically all the main trio and their immediate families. What was enlightening was listening to the bhajans sung by the foreigners... with their accent, it's really something else to hear them sing 'Kwishna is mai healer, yeah, Kwishna is the light, he will save me from my troubles, he will protect me, yeah !!!" 

I finally understood how we Indians must sound to all you non- Indians when we try being funky. "Yevary knighta in mai dreams, Aii see you, I fyeel you, dhat is how Aii know you go ooooooooon. Yooor heer, der's naaathing I feeer yand aai know dhat my haart veal go oooooon." ( Yes, the fact that I chose Celine Dion's Titanic number to depict funky is disturbing for me too. I guess it's gonna be another extended session with my therapist this week. )

All in all, through the fish and meat, the weddings and death, the magical beads and the highclass dog, it's turning out to be a porridge of familiar madness... a porridge that is oh! so tasty for this doc on parole.