My sweet Valentine...

“Why did you leave me?”
The words struck me like a slap. I would have preferred an insult to my character, my heritage, my state, my Gods.. Anything rather than having to answer this. But she sat in front of me, waiting, her beautiful eyes boring into me; no trace of the smile that had haunted my dreams.

“I.. I..” I couldn’t find the right words. The guilty never can.

“We had a dream. We were so close to realizing it. I waited for you all those years. Surely you knew that. And just when I thought the wait was over, the stories began.. Of you and her. Of how you two were a couple.. That it was serious.. That marriage talks were underway.”

“It all happened so soon” I blurted out “Marriage was demanded in the first week of the relationship. We.. I was weak. I fell for her words, her family’s promises. None of us knew what was in store…”
“But how could you say yes in the first place … if you cared for me ?”

I looked down. Suddenly, my toes seemed uncharacteristically interesting. After a long telling silence, I heard her sigh. I looked up finally. That smile… oh, that sweet, sweet smile.

“It worked out for the best anyway, I guess. I did find true love and my soul mate.”

I looked at her again, the two of us alone in this dim cabin of the restaurant on Valentine’s day. Like her, I too needed answers.

“Are… Are you happy ? I mean, today ? In life ?”

She looked at me the way she used to so many times in those joyous teen years.

“Yes, Roshan. I am.”

It was as if the pain had halved in that moment. Suddenly my tongue found it’s way again. “That’s all that matters to me. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. All my life I’ll regret the pain I caused you. Not just at the end, but throughout the years..”
“Come on. There was no..”
“Please. Let me finish. I just want you to be happy. Think of me as the worst chapter of your life… a bridge you had to cross to reach the happiness you’ve reached today. I never meant to hurt you… because of you, I learnt to love… I learnt to be alive. I have so many memories in love only because you were in my life. Even today, I pray for you… for both of you. Just knowing you’re happy… that’s enough.”

She didn’t say a word. After all that had passed between us in this tumultuous decade, what more was there to say. Besides, I could read the care in her face better than my own thoughts, even after all these years. Finally, she broke the silence. “Any news from her ?”

The words came out before I could stop them. “Oh, we keep in touch all the time. She sends me messages daily regarding cookery and sex doubts. Her new husband too chips in with witty emails once a week. The 3 of us are planning on going jet skiing in the Bahamas this winter. Coming ?

She smiled inspite of herself. “Still the same, Rosh. Still the same. Joking and joking all day long.”
“It’s what kept me alive, B. It’s all that kept me sane some days.”
The smile turned sad. “There are better things destined for you.. A better girl than her or me. Just believe in that always, ok ? Become the famous man I always knew you were capable of becoming… make me proud of knowing you, Rosh.”
She looked at her watch, it’s slender strap matching the colour of her nails, the fingers of which were destined never to be intertwined in mine.
“My time is up. Take care, Rosh.” she said as she stood.
“Will we ever meet again ?” It was all I could manage without my voice betraying me. The sad smile spoke before she did. “I don’t know.”

“Why does it have to be this way.. So painful ?”
“Why does what have to be so painful ?” The voice that replied was masculine. I blinked. The cabin was the same.. The restaurant was the same. But sitting in front of me, sharing Russia’s finest, was my fellow doc, RR. The cabin was empty , save for the two of you, just as it had been all night.
“Thinking of the past again ?”
My silence answered for me.
“Forget it, man. What’s happened has happened. The past is history. The future is all that you can create.”
“Ya, I guess so.”
“I KNOW SO !! Now cheer up and give me your glass. It doesn’t look good empty.”
I watched him fill out, just the right mix as I like it and hand it back to me. A clink of glasses.
“Happy Valentine’s day, man.” he said.
I laughed at that. “Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers. Happy Valentine’s day, man.”…and somewhere, deep down, my heart called out to her “Happy Valentine’s day, my dear. May you always be happy wherever you are.”