To those who cared

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged
to find the ways In which you yourself have altered.
- Nelson Mandela (1918 - ),
'A Long Walk to Freedom.'

One year back, my life had a direction. It was filled with joy and a new found happiness. I don't recall how, but I came across a friend's blog. It was the first time I'd seen or heard of such a thing. A blog ? The concept seemed interesting.
The friend in question, Shanid, motivated me to try my hand at it as well. Make a blog? Why not, I decided. I had no idea what I'd write, who'd read it, whether I'd even remember the 'Blog thingy' existed a month later.

Tomorrow, Godyears turns One year old. 78 articles later, amazing as it sounds, my tracker tells me that I've been read across 6 continents. I confess my frivolous ego is pricked to see that the penguins and whales in the Antarctica did not see fit to check my literary cafe out. Wait till the next Free Willy movie or global warming warning comes out..see if I care. But, as always, I digress, for this is not a post to celebrate one year of Godyears.

One year back, my life had a direction. It was filled with joy and a new found happiness. Today, I am at the crossroads. As the worst year of my life comes to an end with my old nemesis - harrowing December, I look back and see that I am finally in the eye of the hurricane. I have suffered pain and betrayal like never before ,been broken down slowly and systematically, watched a lie consume me within and without and faced an ancient evil I never knew existed in today's world. I have had to face the choice of giving up not only everything I believe in, but everyone I ever cared for. I have been forced to finally evolve, forced to be reborn to survive. To shed my mistaken self beliefs about my power of judgement , to face my errors which have threatened to destroy me, to accept pain and regret as my life time partners from here on in in this ballet of life.

I am finally in the eye of the hurricane. I have been witness to some of the most influential, caring and fun friends in my impressionable life getting married over the last 12 months. I have shared in their joy, smiled in their triumphs and prayed for their paths to always be free of tacks. I have felt sorrow as I realised things would never be the same again for us all as we drifted apart - not necessarily from each other as from what we once used to be. Hopefully,the bridges that were built over a transition from child to man will survive these cracks- minor and major. Only time will tell... but I will do my best to influence time in this matter.

I want to thank so many people for what they mean to me, have meant to me and will mean to me in the days to come. I want to thank every friend who stood by me, literally and otherwise. Not over the last year.. but over this phase called life. I want to thank you for the childhood memories of friendship and laughter, love and sorrow that made me who I am today. Who encouraged me to dream big, to over achieve when all I wanted were simpler pleasures and an aisle seat.

I want to thank you for showing me love when I least expected it, for showing me what love is and can do... and in doing so, making me a better man. I want to thank all those of you who did not leave when the smile disappeared and just a shallow corpse remained. Who refused to let me hide in my mind as is my wont while I was breaking down ; who carried me across the darkness to show me that there was a garden beyond the fiery coals. Who made me realise I had made a contribution in their lives for which they were grateful - I am grateful for that. For the many friends that I made online over the last year who, with their wacky ways and charming traits, helped me erase my sorrows and dull the pain so that , today, I can be who I was a year ago. Someone who looked forward to life's surprises. Someone who believed in all that is good. Someone who believes once more in all that is good.

Your friendships have not gone unnoticed. Nor will they be forgotten. For it is not only the elephant's stunning good looks that I have inherited, but their capacity for memories too. I remember. The smallest details of what we have shared together, the sorrows I have caused and been forgiven ( and not ), the laughters we have shared while memories were being created and the battles we have faced together and walked out of, changed.

Today,I am finally in the eye of the hurricane. The calmest place to be in while the storm unleashes it's fury. I would never have reached here if it weren't for you all. I would have tried , as always, to walk the road alone.. and failed miserably this time. To all my angels, who have helped me cross this sea and ensured I don't drown along the way, I have this to say ( you all know who you are ) : Thank you for finding me and bringing me back to myself. I couldn't have done it without you all.

Happy Birthday, Godyears. It's been an eventful ride from where we began last year.. eventful for us both.