Scary times here

I'm afraid. The world just got scarier for me. Why ? Let me re-cap what I found out in the last week.

Himesh Reshammiya is out to join all his songs together into a movie, sorry moviEE. And I can feel the fear that has touched most ear drums. My own sensitive nose is crying foul - I have a lovely nasal twang too, so how come I ain't covering my grey hair behind a cap and crooning to the world with Dipannita and Tara crying for me. Sigh ! Perhaps it's not my destiny. And though I sincerely doubt Aap Ka Suroor -the moviEE is gonna threaten the box office , I have seen and heard crazier things so that I will not rule out the dreaded thought - Aap Ka Suroor - The Moviee being India's representative to the Oscars 2007 !!

Is that scary ? Well, not as scary as an episode of Jay Leno I saw last week. Now, I must admit I never watch the guest stars and singers on The Tonight Show. I watch it purely for Leno's stand up comic act at the start of the show and the weird stuff he finds all over America. But even I was dumbstruck when I saw the stuff that he came across on sale on Ebay. Sample this.
1. Kevin Federline's ( Britney's soon-to-be-ex-hubby ) resume on auction for 99 cents. The catch ? It was a blank sheet of paper !! The whammy ? It was sold after 33 bids for $ 34 !!
2. A piece of toast with NO picture of Lord Jesus on it. Do the math in your head and think of what you're left with. Auction began at 99 cents again. Sold after 34 bids for 35 odd dollars !! A slice of bread. Boy ! Some redneck must be feeling really bright with his framed toast on the wall!!

Is that scary ? Hmmm.. not quite, eh? Well, then. How about this ? This is for us Indians. Can you guess what's the common links between the below places and the dates ?
Juhu Beach, Mumbai 2005
Bangalore, Karnataka 2004
Koyambedu, Chennai 2004
Malshej Ghat, Mumbai 2003
Yamunanagar, Haryana 2003
Kailash, south Delhi 2003
Mohali, Punjab 2002
Bidhan Nagar , Calcutta 2002
Verna, Goa 2002
Deccan, Pune 2002
Ahmedabad, 2001

Believe it or not. These are actual UFO sightings from India ! All over the last 6 years. And they're not the only one. HP, UP, Chattisgarh have all come under the UFO's lens since 2000. Prior to that, Coorg, Punjab, Bihar, Mumbai, New Delhi have all reported UFO sightings. I always thought UFO sightings were restricted predominantly to North and South America. The fact that we too have our share of flying saucer stories and weird eyed funny looking creatures ( not Chandrachur Singh ! I'm talking of the aliens.. Man, are you guys rude or what ?! ) was enlightening. But then, you ask, what's so scary in that ?
Don't you see, Scully ? Isn't it obvious ? The aliens ! They've evolved ! They're showing amazing intelligence. Read the places of the sightings over again.
See what's missing ?Even the aliens know better than to visit the dreaded Kerala !! Not a single sighting from Kerala in over 100 years. Oh boy ! We're in deep shit, I tell you. E.T's got brains!! Unlike the Arab countries which allow us Mallu aliens ( the same Arab countries that close doors to the nuclear powers of the world, mind you ) to invade and take over their industries, these guys know not to mess or have any dealings with THE REAL LITTLE GREEN MEN !!! They are, indeed, light years ahead of us, intelligence wise atleast.

Now that, you have to admit, is scary.