Quack Quack

Everyone's a Doc. Atleast that's what I've learnt.And I didn't have to go very far to learn it either. All I really had to do was succumb to man's oldest enemy .. the common cold.
I've been having these persistant colds since the last 3months that have waxed and waned in their intensity with no apparent rhythm. While staying in a medical college in the presence of private-practice laden doctors has the advantage that I'd get the latest info on taming this unconquerable foe,staying at home after such a long absence has it's own advantages. Parents, neighbours, the Mrs, guests,even pests ( the less favoured guests ) had a stern opinion on what i was doing wrong and how to CURE THE COMMON COLD.
Thus,today i find myself having gone through a quirky maze of cures to stabilize my delinquent nose and it's partner-in-crime, the lungs :-
1. Homeopathy. God old homeo.I used to take it for my asthma but stopped after it got intolerable.Later I was informed, "it gets worse, then i cures completely!!!" Duh!!
2. Lapus Lazuli. Sounds Italian,eh? Actually it's a product of the latest addition to the cavalry of medicines...Gemology!! This guy's a dark blue stone with scratch marks to be worn around the neck. Clears the lungs, helps improve speech abilites.
3. Amrit. Holy Nectar. Supposed to have magical healing powers. Don't even ask where my neighbour got it from. Tastes suspiciously like honey.
4. Vibhuti. Holy Ash. One of my wife's ideas.(P.S. In case you're wondering, she's a doctor.)

The fact that I stil have the cold today indicates the efficiency of some of these therapies..But then again, i do my best to control the symptoms around family these days..Or else, they might consider it to be a case of "Demonic possession (of my nose?)" and call for an exorcism!!!
For now, I'l hide my poor antibiotics and cold pills away from their site and eat it when noone's looking. After all, they wouldn't want me to take some QUACK MEDICINE, now, would they?