Premium Blogger.

I'm not famous for showing off.  

You know, like the time I didn't show off when my short stories were published in Urban Shots  and the Chicken Soup series. 
...or when they are yet to be even published. 
...or the time I got interviewed. 
...or that time my name was randomly mentioned in the paper. 
...or even that time I won a fellow blogger's caption contest. 
...or just that time I described myself.

Dear God, humility is obviously one of my better virtues.

So, I'll just come out and say it - I have been selected as one of 10 Premium Bloggers (click for link ) on India's largest blogging community, Blogadda.

Big deal ? Hell yeah, it is !

So what does it mean ? Well, I haven't read the fine print but from what I understand, I get the following privileges :

1. You now have to pay a toll for passing by my blog. I'm thinking Rs 5 per visit with Rs 3 for refreshing page. All collected contributions will be donated for a noble cause ( the 'My Hawaii trip 2013 foundation'. )

2. You are now required by law to comment on my blog... or else. I have a tracker. I know where you live. Well, at least which country you live in. So don't make me board a flight/bus/bullock cart and come hunting for you. 

3. You don't have to address me as Roshan or doc anymore. It seems too formal.  Henceforth, I will be known as 'His Highness the Sultan of Blogpuri III'. There are no previous versions, but I just wanted to have a number at the end of my name. So cool. I feel like a new man.

4. I get to handpick two female bloggers of my choice as my personal bodyguards. Anyone with karate and kungfu skills are automatically disqualified. Bad enough I'll have to face your sexual harassment charges without the added humiliation of getting beaten up and pile-driven.

5. No more taxes for me. Plus, my mutual fund selections will automatically perform better than yours. Nya nya nya nya nya naa.

6. If you see me at either Kentucky Fried Chicken / Mc Donalds, you are obligated to give me your fries and burger. Hey, rules are rules.

7. I get to decide who wins the T20 World Cup this year... I'm sorry, this one is classified. I'm not allowed to tell you because of certain silly match-fixing-scandal related issues.

8. If you see me in public, wave and act all excited. Giggle. Fawn. Gush. Blush. I may nod back though I'm not obligated to.

That's it for now. That was page one of the privileges. I'll let you know more privileges as I read them myself. But first, I have work to do. 

There are fries and burgers with my name on them being paid for at a Mc Donalds. 

P.S. Thanks Blogadda. Honoured to be chosen.

P.P.S. To be frank, I really didn't read the privileges in the contract because my spectacles are being repaired presently. This was just a modest guess of what I think I see in Page 1. I'm sure they've included super-powers and the red button which launches our nuclear weapons as well in the next few pages.