Of Broken states, broken bones and Blonde Babes

It's been awhile since I've last posted. I got caught in the 'give up everything that'll take your focus away from work' hype. I thought spending time blogging or catching up with fellow bloggers would be a cardinal sin considering I have a countdown on my desktop informing me of the 167 days left ( It was 267 days when it started, mind you ) for the big one - my post graduate degree exams. But turns out I was wrong... sometimes, you really need to take time off and be yourself and more importantly, lead a normal human life instead of being the zombie we post graduates tend to become.

So this here is a brief recap of how I broke my hand, predicted the future.... and got kissed at a Fosters party filled with babes.

Unfortunately, my last post 2 months ago seems to have turned dramatically prophetic. It seems like the nation has turned bonkers trying to divide themselves. Sure, a guy's 11 day fast started it in Andhra Pradesh/Telengana but now everyone's crawling out of the woodwork to get a piece of the pie. UP wants to be trifurcated, Coorg and something called Hyderabad-Karnatak wants to be separated from Karnataka, West Bengal, East India, even Vidharba in Maharashtra... I mean, seriously, are you kidding me ? If every family name and caste wants to have their own state based on their dialect, how many bits are you gonna tear us up into ? I can picture it already - THE UNITED SUBCASTES OF INDIA.

Anyway, since everyone's dying for their rights - I think it's time we Mallus too got into the act - doesn't feel right when there's a fight and we're just sitting quietly with our lungis down. So, Mallus of the blogworld unite - join me as I demand what is rightfully ours - A part of the United Arab Emirates which we presently coinhabit @ 50 % atleast with our fellow shawarma eating Arab friends. We've lived there long enough.. longer than the UAE was formed, I can confirm. I think that entitles us to have our own state in Dubai.. what say, guys to the formation of Mallutopia ? Of course, since fasting ain't our thing, we'll just have to find another way - how about threatening to speak only in Manglish ( Mallu- English, of course ) and infecting everyone around us with the same ? Niiice... Oh, and by the way, I call dibs for being Sheikh of Mallutopia.

Bow before me, minions, I Sheikh Roshan bin Hunky Al GreekGod commands you. Oh, and I want my Burj-al-Roshan hotel shaped like a coconut.

Then again, maybe Greek God ain't the right psudosurname to pick.. after all, this year, my body's really been taking revenge for all that binge eating. It seems like I'd only just recovered from that damn sacroilitis-sciatica combo when

I went ahead and ticked off my next limb... in what can at best be described as a freak fall at the cricket ground, I landed on my arm and ended up fracturing it around the wrist. Ya, I know. Doesn't sound macho enough, right ? I figured I needed to spice it up so I tried telling people I fractured my arm while diving to stop a stray bullet that was heading towards a stray puppy that was, well, straying onto the field where a stray land mine lay not more than 4 feet from the poor thing. I don't think anyone bought it though.

( Should have added a stray viper in there too, somewhere, methinks. )

Now a really hardworking doc would probably have been heartbroken considering the loss of work opportunities, especially in a profession where my arm is essential. But luckily, my mind was too busy thinking of the new possibilities - me lying bedridden with lovely interns feeding me grapes and fawning over my every slight grimace, cute little finger massages to make sure those fingers don't get atrophied out of boredom, sympathy from the nursing students and admiration for my steely resolve to continue working inspite of the grueling pain...

Sigh.

You really didn't think God was gonna give me all that, did you ? instead of "above mentioned" fawning apsaras and pillow fluffing babes, I got mauled from all corners. The sisters had a good laugh at my expense, even making up a 'fake' story involving me getting beaten up by pious goondas as I was eve teasing a girl. ( Fake, I repeat, fake!!! )

My fellow juniors were more concerned - they were worried that my falling on the ground had destroyed the cricket pitch by creating a big crater in the centre of it !! As for work, well, since I'd used up my medical leaves earlier, I was left wandering around the operation theatre with my arm in above elbow cast amid snide comments about 'having a holiday' from senior staff ( no comments - @$%*&!! ).

Word of advice for those of you planning to break your arms as a hobby : do not underestimate the annoyance of the 'unattainable itching sensation' that lies within that cast.. when finally, my cast was removed, I actually scratched so hard, my hands started bleeding.

Since then, it's been all work and very less relaxation.. till this past weekend, that is. I'd attended the Foster's Poolside Party earlier this year when it was in Pune and so was actually caught in two mind's when it arrived again. On the one hand, guilt abouting ditching the books was there.. luckily for me, I'm a sucker for temptation so I ended up going after adjusting my workload. And boy, was I glad I did.

Let me clear a few things rightaway. To be frank, the earlier party was a lot easier on the eye... there was a more 'party' atmosphere there, more intellectual (hotter) babes and well, better use of the pool by the Australian hotties.

This time around, there was a more sedate atmosphere, everyone sat in lawn chairs and probably discussed which muffins went better with Darjeeling Tea...

and sure, while the two Aussie swimsuit models promoting the beer were probably giving me the "come hither, you hunk" look ( or was it the "stay away, you perverted .. pervert !!" look ? I get confused. ), I actually had a better party this time around.

And it's all thanks to meeting fellow Bloggers ever friendly Prateek, superfun Poonam and 'da kewl dude' Gaurav. Earlier in the day, I and a very jovial fellow blogger Colonel Ashwin had met a distinguished gentlemen who questioned the need for blogging in today's world. He seemed less than satisfied with our answers. It's thus ironic that the answer would present itself in the very same party.

You see, I've always maintained that it's about meeting like minded people or people who's company you can enjoy, irrespective of silly things like religion or caste. Even though I met them for the first time that day ( except Prateek ), we gelled together great, laughing and tweeting away the whole afternoon with our antics.

What did we talk about ? Probably everything and nothing at all - from premarital blues (Good luck, mate ) to doc tales ( Prateek proved to me that girls have balls !! Man, I really missed that chapter in the anatomy class. ), restaurant reviews, beer can pyramids and idle teasing : just what you'd expect from a bunch of friends. We chatted away, meeting up with another funloving dude Satinder, till finally the DJ had played his last song and then carried on, late into the evening, first whiling away time at the hotel's bakery ( I swear to God, I did not order the macho pink Madeline!!! I went for the umm.. macho cream muffins ? ) before ending up at a food festival where we got lost in the 5000 strong crowd and some yummy pomfrets and meat.

All in all.. it was a great break for me from this ever ticking timebomb called P.G. exams and I'm glad I made some cool friends in the process.

Oh, what was that, you say ?

Didn't I mention a kiss at the party ? Well, ya sure, there was a choice for me between the blonde and the brunette in the swimsuits but well... I think I'll let the picture tell the story.

P.S. Sorry, Sats.. we had a great time and all but I'm just looking for something more in a relationship.. plus I don't think Mom would have been favour of the blonde or brunette in the first place so bald is definitely out of her list.

P.P.S. Mom, get me married quick please !!! It's getting hard for a young man to live alone in the big cities without being groped at parties !!!

P.P.P.S. For a good review on what went on at the party, check out Prat's post.